viernes, 13 de diciembre de 2013

The Morning After, By Age

AGE 16
Wow, that was three minutes of awesome. I am glad we were going out for years and finally lost our virginities to each other, and I’m glad you kept that Ben Folds Five record on! Having sex to "Zak And Sara" was soooo romantic. Now let’s see if I can sneak back in through the attic window without breaking my neck and put a cryptic quote about “~*growing up*~” in my AIM profile. See you in Social Studies!

AGE 17
Those were some strong Mike’s Hards, huh? Haha. Good thing Ben’s Cool Mom let us all drink in the basement. I hope we didn’t wake anyone else up when we hooked up while everyone else was passed out. So like, we’re dating now, right?

AGE 18 – 19
Whose dorm room is this? Oh, right. Kevin from Welcome Week. I should Facebook friend him, since we did have two-beers-in sex last night. Let me jump on his laptop. Oh God, his background is a lingerie-clad anime girl. What’s his last name again? Isn’t it something like “Greeble?” He’s awake. Oh God, I forgot how nasal his voice is. Oh God, he wants to walk me to get a breakfast sandwich. OH GOD, his roommate was here the whole time, watching John Q with headphones in. SOME WELCOME THIS IS, COLLEGE.

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