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El sentido de los pies

Apenas entró a la casa él se quitó los zapatos. Con la alfombra blanca ni siquiera les tenía que pedir el favor a sus invitados. Se los quitaban por voluntad propia.

Dejó caer su metro noventa y cinco en el sillón, muerto, necesitando más que nada una siesta. Le ofreció un expreso con la esperanza de que lo reviviera y les permitiera pasarlo bien. Por sobre el ruido de la batidora de leche él le contó sobre la conferencia de una semana en la que acababa de presentar. También había ayudado a llevar a varios científicos destacados. Decir que estaba extenuado era poco. Pero igual ella estaba feliz de que hubiera pasado y se había propuesto disfrutar al máximo su visita -directo desde el aeropuerto- en camino a ver a su mujer.

Depositó el expreso con una galletitas de chocolate en la mesa ratona y se sentó haciendo ángulo con él.

"Me duelen tanto los pies", se quejó. Y de inmediato procedió a sacarse las medias y frotarse los gigantes pies con sus manos gigantes. Ella lo observó preguntándose si debería ofrecerle un masaje o no. ¿Cuáles eran los bordes de la amistad? "¿Tienes una pelotita de tenis?" Le preguntó él.
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Blake Lively: WonderCon with Ryan Reynolds!

Blake Lively attends 2011 WonderCon on Friday (April 1) at the Moscone Convention Center in San Francisco, Calif.
The 23-year-old actress was joined by her Green Lantern co-star Ryan Reynolds at a panel, where they discussed their upcoming superhero flick.
The night before, Blake picked up the Breakthrough Performer of the Year accolade at the CinemaCon Awards in Las Vegas.
“It’s intimidating, because it’s a movie that has so much money and so many stakes - so many people are so invested in it,” she told the L.A. Times about Green Lantern. “But what made me want the role that much more is that my character is a strong, militant, powerful woman who really challenges Hal..

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Sienna Miller: Nervous about Belly Dancing

Sienna Miller greets fans after another night of performing in Flare Path on Friday (April 1) at the Theatre Royal Haymarket in London, England.
The 29-year-old British actress recently admitted she’s a bit nervous about her upcoming film, Just Like a Woman, where she’ll play a Chicago housewife who becomes a belly dancer teacher.
“Yes, it will be interesting. I’m not the most coordinated person but we’ll see,” she said.
As for possibly baring a larger stomach for the role, Sienna shared, “There is a certain type of belly dancing where you don’t need a belly, although I read they’re looking forward to putting one on!”..

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What to do if you’ve mismatched libidos

What to do if you've mismatched libidos

Mismatched libidos - one partner wanting more sex than the other - is one of the most common sex issues among couples. Sexpert Tracey Cox gives us some tips on how to kick start those lazy libidos and how to calm those raging
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Want a Love Coaching Session? Free Love Tips from a Pro

Let's face it, sometimes venting to friends about your relationship isn't enough. You need an expert to tell you the tricks of the trade, the secrets to understanding men, and the best ways to keep things hot. That's where Lauren Frances comes in.

She's a professional love coach who deals with this kind of stuff all the time. And as a Valentine's Day gift to our readers, she's giving away a downloadable version of her Legendary Love seminar for free. The advice focuses on building a stronger, deeper connection, and promoting long-lasting passion.

To download the podcast (you can listen on your computer or iPod), just click this link. Enter your name, email address, and promo code REDBOOK, and you're all set!

After you download the seminar, you'll also receive an email with a special code to dial into a live phone seminar later this week. Lauren will give a mass relationship pep-talk and share lots of tips just in time for Valentine's Day on Thursday February 10th at 9pm EST.

Finally, don't forget to let us know what you think! Leave a comment here or on our Facebook page to tell us about the podcast, your Valentine's Day plans, or just to chat.


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How Often Do You Argue With Your Spouse?

We were surprised to hear that, according to a UK poll, the average couple fights 312 times a year - that's almost one fight per day! But, it got us thinking about all the little things that we fight with our significant others about: household chores, what to watch on TV, what temperature the bedroom should be, etc. So, we want to know, how often do you fight with your spouse? What are the most common sources of arguments in your marriage? And, how do you feel you measure up to other couples when it comes to getting along?



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5 Truths About Modern Love

In the new book Live and Let Love, each chapter is a letter-slash-essay by a famous woman on a great love she’s experienced—and sometimes the aftermath of its loss. Here, the book’s mastermind, writer and filmmaker Andrea Buchanan talks about her favorite letters and what everyone can learn from them.

REDBOOK: What inspired you to write Live and Let Love?

Andrea: My first book was Note to Self: 30 Women on Hardship, Heartbreak, Humiliation and Overcoming Them All—so I wanted to do a lighter book this time!

REDBOOK: Why did you choose to focus on love?

Andrea: I am endlessly fascinated with the different types of love and how we all access them for different reasons. I don't mean to be corny, and quote the Beatles, but I really believe that "Love is all there is!"

REDBOOK: Were there any surprises along the road while pulling together these letters?

Andrea: I thought the book would be more of a Sex and the City type book, with sex, divorces, dating, marriage etcetera. But as it turns out the stories are layered, some are incredibly sad as well as very funny and not all of them are about romantic love.

REDBOOK: Who wrote your favorite letters and what did you learn from them?

Andrea: 1. Marie Tillman

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He Called Me By His Ex's Name

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were talking over dinner when he called me by his ex-girlfriend's name. I told him afterward that it bothered me, and he felt a little bit upset for doing it. I felt badly for bringing it up and told him I'd be over it by today. But I'm not. What should I do?
Answer
Get over it. Really, it’s not a big deal. Just be happy that he said her name over dinner, instead of in bed while you were doing it! We all embed people in our subconscious, particularly when we’ve shared an emotional relationship; it happens. Maybe you said something that triggered an emotional memory and he subconsciously called you by her name. It probably came from a positive place in his mind, so don’t make it into something it’s not. The relationship he had with her is over. Forget about it and move on. Couples who are in the happiest relationships say that they weigh the importance of daily “annoyances” by their partners and then “pick the battles” they want to fight for. This is not one of them. In every relationship, you can guarantee that there is always a new “issue” you’ll have to confront him with! Wait until it’s a more important one. Now if he called you by a man’s name, then I’d be worried!

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My guy's penis is too large!

My guy's penis is too large for me. Are there any techniques you recommend for making sex more pleasurable?
Answer
The number-one thing you can do when your man has a supersized schlong is use lots of lubricant. The slippery environment will make a big difference. You can turn the application of the lubricant into an opportunity to enjoy some foreplay by having him rub you with his fingers as you lube up. You’ll have to experiment with how much to use, but have fun trying out various sizes of "squirts" as you play "penis down the water slide."

There are three types of lube: water-based, silicone, and oil. Don’t use oil-based lubes because they can cause yeast infections. Water-based and silicone lubes can be used with condoms. Astroglide (which was invented by a NASA rocket scientist) is available at drugstores. Other brands, including Wet, Sex Grease, Liquid Silk, and Slippery Stuff, are available at babeland.com.

There are also "natural" water-based lubes at Whole Foods. Silicone lube is interesting because it’s smooth and superslippery, never dries out, and lasts longer than most guys do.

The second thing you can do is take it slowly. Don’t have him shove his penis in too fast, as that will make you even more apprehensive. Just before he is ready to penetrate you, relax your pelvic muscles, breathe in and out a few times, and visualize the muscles in your vaginal area relaxing.
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Am I a lesbian?

I've been married for 19 years and have great sex with my husband. Recently, I've been having dreams I'm having lesbian sex. I get so aroused I wake up really disturbed and hot. Is this normal? Am I losing my desire for men?
Answer
If you're having great sex with your husband, you're not losing your desire for men, but you are adding a new fantasy to your sex life. Fantasies are good (and normal). This might be a fantasy that you've been suppressing for a while, and your subconscious is now bringing it up. Remember that a fantasy is just that; it doesn't mean you will act on it.

Don't feel guilty or shameful about having a sexual fantasy. And it's up to you whether you want to share it with your husband; most people don't tell their lovers what their sexual fantasies are because they worry the other person might judge them (or freak out.)

If you want to explore fantasies with your husband, you should each write down your three top fantasies and read them to each other. You may want to incorporate this particular fantasy into your sex life by watching some porn together -- it almost always features two girls together. See if that does anything for you. (I guarantee your husband will love sharing that activity with you.)
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Why does he take so long?

I can climax with very little effort. He, on the other hand, takes forever! He is on testosterone medication, but it is not helping. He says that when he masturbates, he has little trouble. Am I a failure?
Answer
"Delayed ejaculation" or "retarded ejaculation" is the third most common male sexual problem after ED (erectile dysfunction/having a hard time staying hard) and premature ejaculation. If he doesn't have trouble ejaculating when he's playing with himself (also known as "playing with Mrs. Palmer's five"), then he's just not getting the right friction when he's with you. A man who is used to masturbating with a faster motion may find it hard to climax when the pace is slower. There's no need for anyone to feel like a failure, but it can be frustrating. Typically, men who suffer from this are controlling and have a hard time letting go, so it's psychological as well as physical. Try learning some new strokes and pokes to see if you can get him off; the idea is to diffuse his anxiety about giving up control.
Start by giving him an awesome "handy." Even though it's hard to compete with a guy's own hand, experiment with some new strokes he hasn't used, like a two-handed up-and-down stroke, one where you use your thumb to rub up and down the underside of his penis head, or one where you oil up his man bone first with lube and make a firm up-and-down "swiping" movement. Try to get a steady rhythm and a firm pressure going to build up to a climax. He has to get "de-programmed" by getting used to a hand that isn't his own. Also, after you are satisfied, have him flip you over and do it doggy style. In this position, he can feel like he's controlling the friction.

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Does she prefer her vibrator over me?

My fiancée has a high libido but has relied on a vibrator for the last 15 years. I'm celibate. Should I insist that she refrain from using the vibrator before the wedding?
Answer
You need to replace that vibrator — with your fingers, mouth, and penis. I wouldn't worry about what she does before the wedding, but what you do afterward. You're dealing with some tough competition, but you can handle it. Since you won't be celibate much longer, you need to get in there and learn how to please her. Since that vibrator knows what it's doing, you're going to have to brush up on your fingering and licking techniques. If she's not using the vibrator, she's not going to have miraculous orgasms on her own; only 30% of women have orgasm through intercourse only, so that's why women love it when men finger them and go down on them; otherwise, orgasms might never ever happen. Practice on her by starting with some finger strokes: Apply some lube and rub in circular motion. Also try a "petting" stroke like you're petting a cat. Use two fingers as you see the sexual tension building up, and keep the rhythm going. As she becomes aroused, you can also try inserting a finger and pressing on her G-spot, located on the upper wall of the vagina. Also, try different licking strokes like up-and-down ones and swirly-swirls. Have fun with your new sex life rather than dreading it and resenting her past vibrator use. The good news is that she has a high sex drive. The even better news is that women prefer the real thing.

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I lost my sex drive!

I completely lost my sex drive after having a baby. Why is this, and what can I do?
Answer
The biggest reason is that your hormones are on crack. Almost every woman has a decreased sex drive after giving birth. And it can last for months. This explains why some women have postpartum depression or lack interest in doin' it. Second, you are exhausted, very exhausted. Extreme fatigue does not exactly put you in the mood for sex. Third, since new babies are so demanding and require physical attention, you are what is known as being "touched out." You don't exactly feel like being touched after you've been carrying, rocking, and diapering a baby all day. Fourth, you may subconsciously be afraid of getting pregnant again, and fifth, you may feel bloated and not so great about your body right now. But there is hope!

If you're not breast-feeding, you might want to have your doctor test your hormones. You can take some temporary supplements, either prescription or natural. Some doctors prescribe a cream that you rub on your arm. Also, although you may not feel like it, it's important to exercise. You should try to exercise every single day. When the baby is sleeping, put in a yoga tape. Believe me, it will do wonders! There is one I particularly like called Better Sex Through Yoga, which targets the "sexual core muscles" — the pelvic muscles and p.c. (pubococcygeus) muscle. Exercising these muscles, along with doing breathing exercises, revs up the whole area down there and will make you feel better in general.

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Do penis rings work?

Do penis rings work? Do they help keep better erections? My husband and I would like to experiment with them.
Answer
Penis rings create stronger, longer-lasting erections by engorging the penis. They are also used to delay premature ejaculations and to create stronger orgasms. They can be put on before an erection, during a "half-chub," or once the guy has total wood.

There are several types: leather rings (which have adjustable straps that make them easy to get on and off), metal rings, silicone and rubber rings, and squishy jelly ones that stretch to fit any size schlong. (Check them out at babeland.com.)There are also some that have vibrators on them (for "her pleasure").

Use a little lube to slide the ring on, and make sure he doesn't keep it on for more than 20 minutes. (He should never go to sleep with one on.) If it hurts or he doesn't like the way it feels or has any discomfort, he should take it off! If you are playing with a ring for the first time, start with one that's adjustable and easy to remove (some have Velcro on them). There's nothing more embarrassing than going to the emergency room with a penis ring that's stuck.

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Can I bring food in the bedroom?

I would like to use food (preferably sweets) during sex. How do I do this without it getting too messy? Am I weird for wanting to do this?
Answer
You are not weird; you just want to have fun with food. Using food during sex goes back to the ancient Romans and Greeks, who staged elaborate dinners that turned into grape-eating orgies. (Those Romans and Greeks knew how to party!)

There are many creative things you can do with food, from using pineapple slices for a game of "ring toss" (eating if off his penis or giving a hand job) to putting Ho Ho's on your hoo-ha.

First, put a sheet (or two) on the bed that you don't mind messing up. To start off, you can put peppermint schnapps into each other's belly buttons for body shots. (Then blow on it.)

For something more sensuous, take turns pouring Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on each other, then licking it off. You can try it cold or heat it up and drip it on each other. Once the syrup has cooled down, dip his penis in bowl of it for a new twist on oral sex. (It's called a "Mr. Goodbar.") Have him pour the chocolate sauce on you from the mouth down and then lick his way to (your) orgasm. You'll never look at Hershey's Chocolate Syrup the same way again.

Other foods to use include jelly, honey, and old-fashioned whipped cream. After you are done, take a shower to wash off the sticky goo. (Make sure you wash your vaginal area well, as sugar in there can cause a yeast infection.)

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My baby bump is in the way!

I'm pregnant, and my stomach is starting to get huge. Are there any sex positions we can try that won't hurt my stomach?
Answer
There are a number of positions that don't put pressure on your "baby bump." You should avoid positions that require that he support your weight and any where you have to bend and twist like you are in the Cirque du Soleil. Also avoid any man-on-top positions that end up with you saying, "Get off me."

One position you can use is a spooning position, where you both lie on your side and he spoons you from behind. In this position, he can reach around and play with you with his fingers.

"The Postman Delivering a Package" doggie-style position can be done with him either standing or kneeling and entering you from behind while holding onto your hips. Another one to try to is the "Slip'n Side," also known as "the Thighmaster." To accomplish this, you lie on your side and lift up your thigh while he gets on his knees and, holding onto your thigh, goes in from the side and the back, using your thigh for leverage. Or he can lie on his side, leaning his elbow on the floor as he lifts up your thigh and rests it on part of his thigh.

If you want to try the "Watching the Game" position, have him sit on the couch while you perch on his lap and he penetrates you from below/behind. People who say they have a few extra pounds like this position and call it the "Couch Potato."
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I'm not attracted to him!

I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to have sex with him. I just don't find him physically attractive. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know what to do.
Answer
Break up with him. Seriously. If you love him, you will end up torturing him if you are not attracted to him. Men love sex, and if they are with a girl who isn’t attracted to them, the sexual relationship will become a disaster. If you’re not attracted to him now, imagine what will happen when he gets older and fatter. Think about it this way: A man would never in a million years go out with a woman he is not attracted to! In fact, most men pick women based on their physical attraction to them Yes, the other things like personality and compatibility kick in later, but men go for the woman who attracts them sexually first. Besides, wouldn’t you rather be with a man who sexually attracts you? Part of sexual satisfaction is feeling sexually turned on to the person you're doing it with. You are not only cheating him out of a fulfilling sex life but yourself as well by pretending to be attracted to him. I would cut your losses (and his) now before you hurt him farther down the line, as your relationship could get more emotionally involved. Believe me, you’ll save yourself a divorce later. I once heard a girlfriend say that if she meets a guy she could be best friends with, and loves his personality, then she could “learn” to be attracted to him. Forget it! I told her. You’re either attracted to someone or you’re not. It’s really animal and instinctive (as well as surprising and unpredictable, but that’s another issue). So do yourself (and him) a favor and gently break off the relationship. You’ll end up hurting him worse if you fake an attraction to him. Next thing you know, you’ll be faking orgasms and faking an entire relationship.

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Peeing during sex?

Is it possible to urinate during sex?
Answer
Yes, you may feel the need to urinate because Mr. Schlong has a way of poking the bladder. To prevent this, go to the bathroom right before sex; that will ease your mind about feeling like you have to pee in the middle of lovemaking. The other thing you should do — because it will help strengthen muscles down there and give you deeper orgasms — is Kegel exercises. You can do these anywhere — sitting at your desk or waiting in line. To do Kegels, isolate the muscle that controls the flow of urine, contract it, count to 10, then release. Start with a hundred of these a day, and build up to about 300.

Another possibility is that you are experiencing “female ejaculation” during sex. This happens when he hits your G-spot (a small gland on the upper wall of the vagina that feels spongy). This is good, because it will give you more intense orgasms. But for some women, stimulating the G-spot causes a clear fluid — female ejaculate — to be expelled from the Skene’s gland, also known as the urethral sponge. This can happen right before or during an orgasm. It’s not urine, but since it’s a fluid from the same vicinity, it’s often mistaken for it.

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I hate my body and being naked!

I'm a plus-sized female. Even though my boyfriend is comfortable with my size, getting naked is very awkward for me. How do I break out of my shell?
Answer
Women's worst fear (since practically all of us are imperfect) is that the guy we are trying to turn on gets turned off right in the middle of sex. We are especially afraid that while engaged in a position we have never done before, he will suddenly notice our flab deposits and think they look gigantic.

Once you're in bed, stop worrying about your body. It sounds like he's already your boyfriend, so he's already had sex with you and your plus pounds. Just remember that when he's in bed with you he's thinking, "I'm getting laid!" or "I am so turned on right now" or "She is so sexy and we're doin' it!" He's trying to get turned on, not off, so for your purposes that means he's focusing on what he likes about your body, not what he doesn't. He not thinking, "Wow, those thighs look chunky" right before he' ready to stick it in; he's just trying to get it in right. And once he's in, he's thinking how great it feels.
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He ejaculates prematurely!

Is there a natural solution for premature ejaculation?
Answer
This is the number-one sex problem men have. (No wonder women complain about not having enough orgasms.) But the good news is that there are solutions. Besides slowing down, a man should squeeze his PC muscles (the ones that control the flow of urine) when he feels like he’s about to ejaculate. This takes practice, however, as does the “stop and squeeze” technique”: When the guy feels like he’s about to ejaculate, you should squeeze the end of his penis, at the point where the head meets the shaft. Do it firmly, but not so hard that he starts swearing. Squeeze for a few seconds until the urge to ejaculate subsides. Then he can go in again.

A third technique is to have him practice masturbation: He should masturbate until he feels like he’s going to ejaculate, then stop. This will help him learn control for when he’s having sex with an actual person. It could take a month of practice for him to master this technique (but it's a good kind of practice).

A new 30-minute DVD called The Maxwell Multiple Climax demonstrates how men can learn to control their premature ejaculations. It’s a sex-ed vid that every man should watch!

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Our sex life is stale!

My wife and I need some new sex positions. Could you please save our sex life?
Answer
There are more than 55 positions in the Kama Sutra, but most people have tried only a few of them.

The top three positions enjoyed by men are woman on top (with the woman facing her partner), "doggie style," and missionary. Women say they like the missionary position the best, then woman on top, with doggie style third.

For something different, the "Reverse Cowgirl is an interesting one to try. In this position, the guy lies on his back and the woman sits on his johnson, facing away from him. If you're in the laundry room, try the "Front Loader." That's where she sits on the washing machine and you stand. Turn on the spin cycle and it will feel like a giant vibrator. Women say they like this because they face their man and he can play with them.

If you want to do something for her, try an oral sex position I call "For Her Pleasure/Oral Doggie." She gets on all fours and lifts her butt up, and you lick her from below/behind. This is superhot. If you want to be adventurous and try something outdoors, stand in front of the car and have her sit on top of the hood. She can also lift her legs up for a deeper thrust. (The fear of getting caught makes it more exciting.) There's also the "Backseat Driver," where she sits up and you sit on top of her, and "Roof Missionary," where she lies on her back, you bend your knees and get on top of her, and she puts her feet on the inside roof for traction. (A girlfriend of mine tried this once, however, and said it caused "coochie farts.")
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Can my boyfriend tell when I'm aroused?

What are the best ways to get sexually in sync?
Answer
Guys can't even tell when we're having an orgasm, so they probably can't figure out when we're aroused. One physical indication, however, is that when we women get sexually excited, our vaginas secrete lubricating fluid, which makes us feel "wet." So if he feels you getting wetter, you're probably getting more aroused. Also, our hearts start pounding and our breathing gets deeper. Our pupils get dilated too, and we may get flushed all over, but these are things that men don't notice because they are too busy getting excited themselves. Other physical indications of sexual arousal include a flushing of the vaginal lips and clitoris that a man would notice only if he's really looking and knows what your parts look like prearousal.

Women's arousal is one of the mysteries of sex and one of the things men can't figure out. So you may want to clue him in by showing him that you're feeling him. It will only make sex hotter. Letting out a low, soft groan or two usually gets it going, and men like it when women tell them they are getting excited — that only gets them more aroused. They like it even better when we talk dirty to them. Tell him the next time you feel like you are getting turned on. Guys don't need to be romanced, so if you want to let your boyfriend know that you're aroused, all you have to say is "I am so horny right now." It will be music to his ears.
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My Boyfriend's Addicted to Porn!

My boyfriend of two years has an overactive attraction to porn. Is it true that men who watch a lot of porn don't pay as much attention to their partners and try to end sex quickly? That's what seems to be happening. Help!
Answer
Men watch so much porn, you’d think they'd learn something from it! The problem with men is that they watch it while pleasuring themselves and forget that when they're with an actual woman, they have to pleasure her too! I don't have a problem with men — or women — watching porn, but the downside is that men sometimes get the wrong "sex tips" from it, instead of learning useful techniques. Porn is usually focused on what turns guys on, rather than what we women like. For instance, you never see people kissing in porn, you never see the guy fingering the girl (he just shoves it in), and although you do see men giving oral, the focus is always on the ole in and out rather than on foreplay or "warming up" the girl.
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