Porn is well and truly on the female agenda. Whether David Cameron wants to admit it or not, women consume nearly as much as men. According to internet pornography statistics research, one in three users is female. Visual porn is the best way of introducing that thing you’ve always wanted to do without actually having to ask. But you need to pace it just right to avoid being grouped with those ‘pervs’ she and her friends chastise over Sauvignon Blanc on a Friday night. Here’s how...
Study her body language
You need to subtly establish if she’s part of the female porn-viewing population. Start by watching a film with explicit sex scenes. Sit or lie next to her as you watch and pay attention to what she does with her body. “If she starts blinking more than twice every 10 seconds, that indicates she’s really concentrating and enjoying what’s going on,” says behavioural psychologist Dr Sam Walker. “If her eyes flicker to the bottom left, it means she’s feeling uncomfortable.” Does she pull your arms more tightly around her, interlace her fingers in yours? If she does, you’re in business.
The film gives you the reason you need to bring up watching porn together at a later date. If she stonewalls you when you do mention it, you can always reference the conversation to explain to her where you got “the wrong idea” from. Plausible deniability has given you your get-out-of-perv-free card.
Be selective on the web
The first time you watch porn together is key. End up on the wrong website and you’ll both be squirming uncomfortably. And it’s not just plastic bodies that will turn her off. Feminist pornographer Pandora Blake (pandorablake.com) explains: “We get a positive response from female viewers to our site layout, which aims for a classy, historical elegance.” Avoid ones which show clips as you hover over titles in case she sees anything off-putting. Sites with filthy names, garish colours or sex ads are big nos.