Lazy Men Are Responsible for the Great Orgasm Deficit

The female orgasm — whether clitoral or vaginal — is elusive, and frequently unattainable during sex if the woman’s not feeling it. Or feeling too much of something in one place and not enough in another place, or hearing your iPhone chirp with seven new text messages, or wondering if the cat is about to jump up onto the bed and swat at the guy’s balls. Sex is thought of as "ending" when a man comes. And many lazy dudes subscribe to this notion: if she still hasn't gotten off after the five minutes of work I've put in and I've ejaculated, I can just roll over and go to sleep, because the fact that she can't come is her fault, not mine.

These days, it feels like men are letting themselves off the hook for one-sided orgasms a little too easily. Hey, man, I'm glad you're so relaxed — I'm glad having sex with me is the equivalent of putting on sweatpants and eating a Crave Case — but the endgame's the same for everyone in this bed.

You might claim that this guy does not exist. That's what you said about the Won't Go Down On You guy, and our poll proved you wrong. Being a single person who does have sex occasionally, you run into This Dude pretty often. "This might take awhile," you warn him beforehand. He takes this as an excuse to stop, nod sagely, and say "I know some women don't have orgasms every time. Don't worry about it." Now that he's framed it like you're the one who's being forgiven for your tricky, finicky genitals, he focuses solely on his own orgasm and then promptly falls asleep. Keep Reading »