"How do I get sexual again with my guy after treatment for breast cancer? I had both breasts removed, and my hair is short and a different color. I'm not sure how to feel sexy anymore, or if my husband even sees me as a sexual person now."
Your body may have changed, but you are still the same woman your husband fell in love with and, I am sure, still loves. Experiencing sexual pleasure with your husband can be an important part of the healing process. You are so much more than your breasts, so please stop worrying that you are no longer attractive. You are still a beautiful person. Find the courage to open up to your husband about your fears and desires. Simply say, "I don't feel sexy anymore, and I'm worried you don't think I am either." After all you've been through, he's probably ready for — and maybe even looking for — the chance to share how much he truly cares. Tell him you might need to start slowly, with cuddling and massage. As you become more comfortable, you can add more activities to your repertoire. Visit your local adult store (or surf the Web together) and buy lubes and toys that can enhance your lovemaking. And find ways to feel sexy on your own: Get a stylish new haircut and color, and a negligee that makes you feel va-va-voom. So much of what makes sex good is how you feel about it — and yourself. Be patient with yourself, be creative, and always communicate.
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