Sunday, April 3, 2011

I'm not attracted to him!

I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to have sex with him. I just don't find him physically attractive. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know what to do.
Answer
Break up with him. Seriously. If you love him, you will end up torturing him if you are not attracted to him. Men love sex, and if they are with a girl who isn’t attracted to them, the sexual relationship will become a disaster. If you’re not attracted to him now, imagine what will happen when he gets older and fatter. Think about it this way: A man would never in a million years go out with a woman he is not attracted to! In fact, most men pick women based on their physical attraction to them Yes, the other things like personality and compatibility kick in later, but men go for the woman who attracts them sexually first. Besides, wouldn’t you rather be with a man who sexually attracts you? Part of sexual satisfaction is feeling sexually turned on to the person you're doing it with. You are not only cheating him out of a fulfilling sex life but yourself as well by pretending to be attracted to him. I would cut your losses (and his) now before you hurt him farther down the line, as your relationship could get more emotionally involved. Believe me, you’ll save yourself a divorce later. I once heard a girlfriend say that if she meets a guy she could be best friends with, and loves his personality, then she could “learn” to be attracted to him. Forget it! I told her. You’re either attracted to someone or you’re not. It’s really animal and instinctive (as well as surprising and unpredictable, but that’s another issue). So do yourself (and him) a favor and gently break off the relationship. You’ll end up hurting him worse if you fake an attraction to him. Next thing you know, you’ll be faking orgasms and faking an entire relationship.

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