They're breaking up for awards season.
Think about it: If you were Pitt and Jolie, and you were not in the Oscar running, and therefore threatened with irrelevancy by the likes of Jeff Bridges—Jeff Bridges!—until March—March!—what would you do?
You'd get bored. You'd get resentful. You'd concoct all sorts of ways to divert attention away from the statuette-hoarding Meryl Streeps of the world.
Grow a funny goatee? (Been there, done that, didn't work.) Have a baby, or three? (Been there, done that, loads of work.) Break up?
Of course!
Now, you wouldn't break up in the manner that mere mortals break up—with fights, lawyers and ice-cream therapy. No, you'd break up in the manner that public figures break up—with planted stories, planted quotes and, above all, orchestrated photo ops.
To sell your ennui, you'd walk through an airport looking scraggly (Pitt), haggard (Jolie) and unhappy (both). To sell your despair, you'd turn up the notch on your body odor. To sell your disconnectedness, you'd deep-six joint appearances.
For camera purposes, you'd be broken up. And a bigger story than the stupid old Oscars.
Take that, Christoph Waltz, whoever you are!
Do we talk the talk of the crazy? Perhaps, but we've got company. The Los Angeles Times' Gold Derby blog asks whether Pitt is sitting out awards shows because he's "mad they're snubbing him."
You think? We do.Read More »
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